brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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