I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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