Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
soo... how was my night?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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