Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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