I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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