I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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