did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize