ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
