careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
