Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
