This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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