Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
