Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize