I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
