He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
