Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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