so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
