it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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