He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize