haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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