i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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