He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
