a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
