I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
