we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
