she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
