I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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