I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
My feet surprised me
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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