then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize