We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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