I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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