I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
