no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
