he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
