quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
