I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
