You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
