Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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