Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
