But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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