Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
