she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
