it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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