Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
