I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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