are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
