thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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