so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
the condom got lost in my hair
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
