just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
