Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
