I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
