I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
