Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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