Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
