under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
