meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
