Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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