Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
