I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
