the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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