i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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