My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
