Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
