but the lizard people decide everything anyway
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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